Not permanently, just for a little while. Here’s the scenario:
You walk in the door after a day at work, and it looks like a tornado by the name of “3 kids” has blown through the house. Your wife looks up from a pile of laundry with a “thank God you’re home” look on her face and gives you a half-smile.
You put your work stuff down, and soon find out that in between the kid that pooped on the floor, the 6 loads of laundry, and the baby that has spit up on 3 sets of clothes, it’s been a doozie of a day for your poor wife, and she is about at the end of her rope.
You have a couple of options at this point. You can either choose to ignore that your wife is about ready to lose it, and turn on SportsCenter, or you can say “hey hon, after dinner, I got the kids – why don’t you head to Starbucks for a while and catch up on that book you’ve been wanting to read”. She will most likely try to put up a weak protest saying something about how she’s ok, and needs to get stuff done here, but if you tell her you’ll finish the laundry, and that she needs to take the time while she can, she will probably be out the door before you finish speaking.
For those of us husbands who are blessed with wives want to stay home and do the amazing job of taking care of the kids, we need to make sure they are still getting some time to themselves. Sometimes we forget as husbands, that just because they “get to stay home all day”, it is nowhere close to “restful” most of the time for our dear wives. You think a rude customer at work is hard to deal with? Try a teething 1-year-old who wants to be held all day. At least with the rude customer, he will finally leave the store after a while, not so with the teething kiddo. He’s there ALL DAY.
“But I just got done working all day, I want to be able to come home and relax, not play babysitter”. That’s great, if you want to watch your wife slowly lose her drive to even try anymore. She needs that couple hours alone every once in a while to help her “refocus” and “regroup” a little. You at least get your lunch hour and breaks at work. I heard one mom say she’d be thrilled just to be able to use the bathroom, without a child knocking on the door needing something.
Contrary to popular belief, stay at home moms do not sit in front of the TV all day long and eat bon-bons. 🙂
So, if your wife stays at home with the kiddos, give her some “HER TIME” often. Even if you have to schedule it and make it a once or twice a week thing, do it! Not only will you have a much happier and composed wife, you’ll get to build your relationship with your kids in the process! The other day Ben (5yrs), my oldest, told his mom that “she needs to go somewhere, because we haven’t gotten much time with dad lately.” Plan a movie night, or take the kids to the baseball field. Make it a fun time that the kids look forward to! Sometimes we get a little too involved in our work and forget the kids need their DAD to PLAY with them too. They’re only kids for a limited amount of time, don’t make the mistake of thinking work needs to come before that game of catch.
Give you wife few hours away from the crazy. Who know kicking your wife out of the house could be such a positive thing! 😉