Ok wives, let’s face it – your husband thinks a bit differently than you do about sex. I’m sure there has been a time or two when your husband tells you something about what he would like to do sexually, and you’ve looked at him with that “he just said what?” look your face and said “You want to do what again?”
Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. We are kind of strange at times, and that’s the whole point of this post. How are you supposed to think like your husband about sex, when you’re NOT a guy?
Well, that’s where this little list comes in! But first a couple of things to get out of the way:
1. This list is like a “one size fits most” hat. It will probably fit your husband, but there are always those guys with really big or small heads. Use what you can from it, ignore the rest.
2. This is not a list like you find in Redbook in one of their “10 ways to please your man” lists. It does not require you to order a topless Mrs. Claus suit. Rather, this is a list for the regular, everyday husband, who adores his wife, probably has a few young kiddos running around, and is wondering if there will ever be time for a sex life again.
“Ten ways to put a big goofy grin on your husband’s face” (without having to buy a topless Mrs Claus suit):
– After the kids go to bed one night, tell him you’re declaring it a “topless movie night”, and no one is allowed to wear shirts. (Odds are, he won’t remember much of the plot of the movie, but he’ll be in 7th heaven)
– Send him a picture of one of your “for his eyes only” parts, via text or email (or using a couples app like Avocado, or Couple), with a message like “Later” attached. He will think about it all day.
– When you sit down on the couch with him to watch tv after the kids go down, wear a skirt, sit at the end of the couch with your feet facing him, and “forget” to wear panties. See how long it takes him to notice.
– When you’re somewhere simi-private with him, let your hand slowly run over his (ahem) and tell him “I can’t wait until we go to bed later”
– When you’re getting dressed in the morning, say “hey hon, can you come pick the panties you want me to wear today, and then take off of me tonight? I’m not sure which ones to wear”
– Join him in the shower one morning out of the blue, when he left you in bed “sleeping”. Ask him if you can help him wash those hard to reach areas. He won’t mind being late for work that morning.
– Set your alarm a little earlier than his, and find “creative ways” to wake him up. I’m not going to expound on that one.
– After the kids are in bed, go into your bedroom saying you’re going to change into your PJ’s. Come out completely naked, and sit down by him like there’s nothing up. Maybe grab a magazine and start thumbing through it like everything’s normal. Oh, and make sure you help him pick his jaw up off the floor. You may need it later. 😉
– When you’re riding in the car together (not driving), text him with an explanation of what you’d like to do to him later when you get home.
– If he’s leaving on a business trip, or has to be away for a few days, make him a “private video” for him to watch when he calls you later that night. Just be sure he has a way to hide it on his phone (Audio Manager on Android platform is a great app for this). Might not be a great one to accidentally come up during a business presentation.
– During a dinner out, or trip to the store, lean over and whisper to him that you’re not wearing any panties. Just be prepared to get home a little sooner than you may have intended.
So there you go! a few things you can do to completely floor your hubby, and make him wonder how the heck you know exactly how to drive him wild all the time. Have fun, and remember, these are just ideas. You know your husband’s likes/desires more than anyone, so make sure you tailor them to fit your guy. However you adjust them though, you can make sure that he won’t be able to get that goofy grin off of his face for a while. 😉