Ok MEN, it’s your turn on the old “ten things” list. And no, most of these don’t involve sex, sorry to disappoint. 😉
As with all of these type of lists, make sure you don’t take them at face value. This is simply a way to give you a few ideas, that you can tailor to your wife’s likes/dislikes.
Ready? Here goes –
1. Hold her hand for no reason. Yeah, that means not just when you’re thinking of her without her clothes on. Remember the thrill that holding hands gave you when you were dating? Well, our wives STILL love it when we reach over and hold their hand. It shows her that no matter how busy/crazy life is/will be, you’re still in love with HER.
2. Look her in the eye and tell her she’s beautiful. Notice I said look her in the EYE? In other words, not while you’re looking at her boobs. Our wives need you hear they are beautiful from US. Not from the kids, not from their girlfriends, not from her mom, but from US. They might not say it, but they have thoughts like “I wonder if he still thinks I’m pretty?” quite a bit. Make SURE you let her know she’s still a “10” in your eyes.
3. Do things around the house that you may not think are in your “job description”. Don’t give me “Oh, I don’t like changing diapers”, or “I’m tired after a long day at work, I don’t want to help with dishes”. As my mom used to tell us kids, “what, is your arm broken?” when we’d say we didn’t want to pitch in with the household stuff. It doesn’t matter if your wife stays home with the kids, or works out of the home – most times she’s exhausted by the time dinner comes around, so surprise her with a “hey babe, I’ll get the dishes tonight, why don’t you go sit on the deck and read that book you’ve been wanting to catch up on?” After she picks herself up off the floor, you’ll be amazed at how fast she’ll disappear. Sure it’s not fun, but man up. She’ll love you all the more for it.
4. Leave her sweet little notes – I can hear you groaning from here. Ok, it doesn’t have to be anything Shakespearean. Just a quick “I love more than anything”, or “Thanks for everything you do, I love you!”. It does much more than you may think when our wives find those notes from us. It shows them we are thinking about them, and that’s HUGE to them.
5. Make sure sex is good for HER also – Ok, so there’s one about sex. But it’s not about you. I hear so many wives complaining about how their husbands want sex all the time, but have no interest in making/learning how to make it better for THEM. Come on guys! This isn’t what we’re going for! Get rid of the attitude that “sex is mostly for the guy” and start learning about HER body, and how to make HER feel good. Be a student of your wife’s body. How she likes to be touched, what turns HER on, etc. Don’t always be so concerned about what YOU get out of it. Remember, marriage is about giving, and your marriage bed is a huge part of that.
5. Tell her you LOVE her – A LOT – “Oh come on, every guy does that! I say it all the time!” Yeah, you’d think this would be a no brainer, but it is a lot harder than we may think. As guys we may THINK we say it all the time, but I challenge you to count how many times you’ve said it today. Once? Maybe when you called on your lunch break? Yeah, our wives have a constant need to be reassured that we love them. It may seem strange to us guys, but it’s true. You can’t tell your wife you love her “too much”, but you can very easily say it “too little”.
6. Date her – No, that trip through the drive through with the kids last night was not a date. She wants you to pursue her, just like you did BEFORE you said “I do”. Plan nights out for just the two of you. Doesn’t have to be expensive, just as long as it’s you two spending time together. Could be a romantic dinner out. Could be something as simple as a walk by the lake, or in the park. What matters is that YOU planned it, and YOU took the time to be with HER and put everything else aside for a couple of hours. TIME MATTERS to our wives.
7. Make time to LISTEN to her – Yes, this involves turning off ESPN for a little while. Here’s the deal – your wife wants to feel important to you. If you are always listening to her talk with one eye on the top 10 plays, she’s not feeling like she’s very important. INVEST the time to sit down every couple of days with your wife, turn off the TV, put the cell phone away, sit down face to face, and say “Ok hon, I’m all yours. What’s going on in your world lately?” Resist the urge to solve problems, and instead empathize with her, listen to her, and make her feel like you actually care about her day. May seem simple, but this is SO important to our wives feeling loved and understood.
8. Surprise her with little gifts – Have you ever been walking through a store with your wife and she going on about something that she’d “love to have” someday? I know, most times you’re only half listening, because you’re also walking past the electronics department at the time, but try to REMEMBER those little things she mentions. The vase that she thought would look good on the table by the door. The necklace she stopped to admire. It could be anything! Some time when she’s not expecting it (in other words, not a birthday, or Christmas), buy it for her, and surprise her with it! You get a double bonus from this one – one for surprising her with something she wanted, and another for actually remembering she mentioned it, and following through.
9. Give her time to do things WITHOUT you or the kids – I go over this more in-depth in my post “Kick your wife out of the house”, but to sum it up, we need to remember that our wives need time to get away for a little while and clear their heads/relax. You try taking care of 2 or 3 needy, crying, energetic kids for 10 hours or so, and see how you feel at the end of it. When you get home from work and see that “I’m about to pull my hair out and curl up in a fetal position” look, have the decency to say “hey hon, do you want to head down to Starbucks for couple hours tonight after dinner? Just to “reset” a little?” Not only will she come back a lot calmer, but also refreshed, and ready to face another day and be the wife/mother she wants to be. Don’t see the warning signs, and go “oh well, I don’t get a break, why should she?”. Make sure your wife is getting time to herself. You’ll notice a BIG difference in almost every category.
10. Kiss her for no reason – In other words, kiss her out of the blue, and not just when you want it to lead somewhere. Maybe it’s right in the middle of doing dishes, or as you walk by her in passing. There nothing like laying one on your wife when she’s least expecting it. After the “what was that for?”, you be able to say “oh, just because you’re beautiful, and I couldn’t resist”. Watch her eyes light up!
So there you have it! Ten things you can do for your wife, that will show her how much you still love/care for her. What are some ways you’ve found show you care/love your wife?