Husbands: Ten Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her


Ok MEN, it’s your turn on the old “ten things” list. And no, most of these don’t involve sex, sorry to disappoint. 😉

As with all of these type of lists, make sure you don’t take them at face value. This is simply a way to give you a few ideas, that you can tailor to your wife’s likes/dislikes.

Ready? Here goes –

1. Hold her hand for no reason. Yeah, that means not just when you’re thinking of her without her clothes on. Remember the thrill that holding hands gave you when you were dating? Well, our wives STILL love it when we reach over and hold their hand. It shows her that no matter how busy/crazy life is/will be, you’re still in love with HER.

2. Look her in the eye and tell her she’s beautiful. Notice I said look her in the EYE? In other words, not while you’re looking at her boobs. Our wives need you hear they are beautiful from US. Not from the kids, not from their girlfriends, not from her mom,  but from US. They might not say it, but they have thoughts like “I wonder if he still thinks I’m pretty?” quite a bit. Make SURE you let her know she’s still a “10” in your eyes.

3. Do things around the house that you may not think are in your “job description”. Don’t give me “Oh, I don’t like changing diapers”, or “I’m tired after a long day at work, I don’t want to help with dishes”.  As my mom used to tell us kids, “what, is your arm broken?” when we’d say we didn’t want to pitch in with the household stuff. It doesn’t matter if your wife stays home with the kids, or works out of the home – most times she’s exhausted by the time dinner comes around, so surprise her with a “hey babe, I’ll get the dishes tonight, why don’t you go sit on the deck and read that book you’ve been wanting to catch up on?” After she picks herself up off the floor, you’ll be amazed at how fast she’ll disappear. Sure it’s not fun, but man up. She’ll love you all the more for it.

4. Leave her sweet little notes – I can hear you groaning from here. Ok, it doesn’t have to be anything Shakespearean. Just a quick “I love more than anything”, or “Thanks for everything you do, I love you!”. It does much more than you may think when our wives find those notes from us. It shows them we are thinking about them, and that’s HUGE to them.

5. Make sure sex is good for HER also – Ok, so there’s one about sex. But it’s not about you. I hear so many wives complaining about how their husbands want sex all the time, but have no interest in making/learning how to make it better for THEM. Come on guys! This isn’t what we’re going for! Get rid of the attitude that “sex is mostly for the guy” and start learning about HER body, and how to make HER feel good. Be a student of your wife’s body. How she likes to be touched, what turns HER on, etc. Don’t always be so concerned about what YOU get out of it. Remember, marriage is about giving, and your marriage bed is a huge part of that.

5. Tell her you LOVE her – A LOT – “Oh come on, every guy does that! I say it all the time!” Yeah, you’d think this would be a no brainer, but it is a lot harder than we may think. As guys we may THINK we say it all the time, but I challenge you to count how many times you’ve said it today. Once? Maybe when you called on your lunch break? Yeah, our wives have a constant need to be reassured that we love them. It may seem strange to us guys, but it’s true. You can’t tell your wife you love her “too much”, but you can very easily say it “too little”.

6. Date her – No, that trip through the drive through with the kids last night was not a date. She wants you to pursue her, just like you did BEFORE you said “I do”. Plan nights out for just the two of you. Doesn’t have to be expensive, just as long as it’s you two spending time together. Could be a romantic dinner out. Could be something as simple as a walk by the lake, or in the park. What matters is that YOU planned it, and YOU took the time to be with HER and put everything else aside for a couple of hours. TIME MATTERS to our wives.

7. Make time to LISTEN to her – Yes, this involves turning off ESPN for a little while. Here’s the deal – your wife wants to feel important to you. If you are always listening to her talk with one eye on the top 10 plays, she’s not feeling like she’s very important. INVEST the time to sit down every couple of days with your wife, turn off the TV, put the cell phone away, sit down face to face, and say “Ok hon, I’m all yours. What’s going on in your world lately?” Resist the urge to solve problems, and instead empathize with her, listen to her, and make her feel like you actually care about her day. May seem simple, but this is SO important to our wives feeling loved and understood.

8. Surprise her with little gifts – Have you ever been walking through a store with your wife and she going on about something that she’d “love to have” someday? I know, most times you’re only half listening, because you’re also walking past the electronics department at the time, but try to REMEMBER those little things she mentions. The vase that she thought would look good on the table by the door. The necklace she stopped to admire. It could be anything! Some time when she’s not expecting it (in other words, not a birthday, or Christmas), buy it for her, and surprise her with it! You get a double bonus from this one – one for surprising her with something she wanted, and another for actually remembering she mentioned it, and following through.

9. Give her time to do things WITHOUT you or the kids – I go over this more in-depth in my post “Kick your wife out of the house”, but to sum it up, we need to remember that our wives need time to get away for a little while and clear their heads/relax. You try taking care of 2 or 3 needy, crying, energetic kids for 10 hours or so, and see how you feel at the end of it. When you get home from work and see that “I’m about to pull my hair out and curl up in a fetal position” look, have the decency to say “hey hon, do you want to head down to Starbucks for couple hours tonight after dinner? Just to “reset” a little?” Not only will she come back a lot calmer, but also refreshed, and ready to face another day and be the wife/mother she wants to be. Don’t see the warning signs, and go “oh well, I don’t get a break, why should she?”. Make sure your wife is getting time to herself. You’ll notice a BIG difference in almost every category.

10. Kiss her for no reason – In other words, kiss her out of the blue, and not just when you want it to lead somewhere. Maybe it’s right in the middle of doing dishes, or as you walk by her in passing. There nothing like laying one on your wife when she’s least expecting it. After the “what was that for?”, you be able to say “oh, just because you’re beautiful, and I couldn’t resist”. Watch her eyes light up!

So there you have it! Ten things you can do for your wife, that will show her how much you still love/care for her. What are some ways you’ve found show you care/love your wife?

32 thoughts on “Husbands: Ten Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her

  1. Great as always! Tanks! I’m actually doing all of these points above. Number 3 is harder than others but since my wife loves to receive love when I do something extra in home that’s what I’m working on most.

    My wife is really competition person so she loves to play games both indoor and outdoor. I’m trying at least 2-3 times per week to play some game. I love it too! It’s fun that both of us likes to win! Well I don’t like to loose more than she. 😉

  2. Great list and so true!
    1. My hubby is a cuddler, so I don’t lack in non-sexual affection. I love when he holds my hand or links my arm in his.
    2. It isn’t often I hear the word “beautiful” come out of his lips about me, but he stares and smiles and nods approvingly and does other things that makes me feel pretty and desirable.
    3. He’s world’s better about this than he used to be, but it would still be nice if he would watch the kids or do a chore just to let me relax. Instead, he’ll tell me for forgo the chores and just come watch a movie with him, which is great, but in the morning, I wind up with double the chores and still didn’t get to do what I would have liked to do. I’d also like to be able to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE once in a blue moon. I’m a homeschooling mom. I grocery shop one day a week and go to church on Sundays. That’s the only time I leave the house unless I have to haul the kids to playdate or music lessons. He can leave whenever he wants to for his own leisure.
    4. He’s not a writer, but I do love sweet little texts. We have a marker board in the house and sometimes we write notes to each other on that.
    5. Ummm…yeah…I’m one of the wives who has tearfully complained to you, Mission: Husband, that my dear husband thinks and acts like sex is for the guy. He’s gotten better after I talked with him about it a couple of times, but it is still not where it ought to be. Now, it’s all about his pleasure, but I get to give myself pleasure while giving him pleasure. It would be nice if he cared enough to just let me relax while he gave me pleasure. I do almost all the work around the house and with the children. I do chores that are typically “husband” chores, too. I am constantly working and doing for others, on my feet. And even with sex, I’m the one doing most of the “work.” It would be soooo nice to be able to just lay down and have pleasure.
    6. We didn’t date when we dated, so we very rarely date now that we’re married. We just sort of hang out.
    7. You know you’re not being listened to when you say, “well, honey, I better hang up now and put the kiddos to bed. I love you, good-bye,”
    and you hear him say, “oh, that’s nice.” It’s really upsetting to tell him something important several times over AND writing it on the calendar only to have the event come up and he yells at you for not telling him about it. I know we women get into boring details and the song repeating in your head is just far more interesting, but how disrespected would you feel if you were talking to your wife and she just tuned you out?
    8. I’d rather have #3 and #4 (especially #4) than little gifts. He’s great with gifts and it is very nice to be showered with them, but I’d rather than an orgasm at least once a week than another little gift.
    9. Read #3. I’ve honestly lost my identity. I think I threw it away with the bazillionth dirty diaper, or it got thrown out with the last puked-on shirt. My life is so consumed with caring for my children and husband that I have had to abandon all my hobbies. I have a stack of magazines I haven’t been able to read, yet. Yeah, I’m spending time typing this out, but I’m a very fast typer and I’m waiting for my kids to finish eating.
    10. Back to #1…hubby kisses me a lot. And I appreciate that. I kiss him a lot, too. Ya know what I miss, though? Making out. Sometimes, I wish we’d just make out like we used to before we got married. At least this time it CAN lead to something more. 😉

  3. Hmm, am learning a lot as a widower, am not the gift giving kind and would take a whole day trying to figure out what gift to give, but got better after 10 yrs of marriage. I miss my wife becos we were too close, we got married as virgins and so didnt have any problem with sex and bonding. Dates were frequent. Chores in the house and groceries, I did most of it becos she was employed and I as a senior partner in an architectural practice had control of my time.

  4. I want to know is there a way to talk to you about the artical you wrote on 10 ways to show your wife you love her I really need some advise and its hard for me to say where everyone can read it some advise from your wife will also be great!!! Please I really really need some help!!!!!!

  5. I came across your blog from Hot, Holy and Hourmous. We get so tied up in our own world that it is sometimes difficult to even see love from our wife’s standpoint. I needed a reminder to think more if her. Let’s see if she notices over the next few days.

  6. I am trying to get back with my ex.. We were engaged, and we were supposed to have another baby but we lost him at 19 weeks, I am trying to get different ideas to bring our spark back, I love her and my beautiful baby girl more than anything in the world and I just want us to be a family again.. She is my soul mate. I am only 19 but I know what my heart wants.. When im not around her I feel like there is nothing for me but when I see her I get butterflies in my stomach, my heart races and I can’t help but smile whenever I look at her or notice that she is looking at me.. I love her until the end of time and I just can’t figure out how to get our spark back.. 😦

  7. I hope every husband who gets to read this will truly apply it in their relationship/marriage. Their wife would be very happy for sure. It always makes them feel so loved!

  8. Sorry, but you need to begin with his taking care of things around the house that ARE his job and he has promised to do and hasn’t. That’s where you need to start. Your other suggestions are extras that won’t go anywhere if he continues to make broken promises.

    1. Joan Friedenberg: Forget from where to start, just remember and apply what you learn no matter what.

      Joan Friedenberg :
      Sorry, but you need to begin with his taking care of things around the house that ARE his job and he has promised to do and hasn’t. That’s where you need to start. Your other suggestions are extras that won’t go anywhere if he continues to make broken promises.

  9. I’m just a common man with a family. At times i can be a caveman. it helps to hear something simple. not all this Dr. crap. not meaning any thing rude towards any dr.’s. but it is awesome….

  10. Do you know what your wife needs? Remember Marriage is about giving- the most important person in your life all her needs! Think and think about it.

  11. Under the sex comment, you should add TAKE A SHOWER and brush your teeth before trying to have sex with her. That does a world of wonders to set the mood.
    and the number one winner on my list:
    Ask her what projects SHE wants done around the house and prioritize them. I know you feel disrespected when she asks you about XYZ project but we wouldn’t have to ask if you would let us know you haven’t forgotten.

  12. YES EXACTLY!!! And the things you think you are helping with, you probably are just making my job harder. Do what your job IS, then if you want to do “extra”, ASK me what would be helpful.

    Joan Friedenberg :
    Sorry, but you need to begin with his taking care of things around the house that ARE his job and he has promised to do and hasn’t. That’s where you need to start. Your other suggestions are extras that won’t go anywhere if he continues to make broken promises.

  13. My husband cheater on me for the 2nd time. I just found out about the 2nd time three weeks ago, when he told me he was moving out and it turned out they moved in together. After three weeks, now he wants to come back home, saying he loves me and missing me. I told him, he needs to prove that he really loves me and no one else. Even if all these 10 suggestions sound great, it will be very hard for me to believe anything he says. Good luck to all of you…:-)

  14. Every time I tell my wife she is beautiful, she negates it with, “Im glad you think so, but I’m really not all that beautiful.” It bugs me so much that it becomes wearisome to even say it. She might as well say , “no you don’t”, when I tell her that I love her.

    1. Tell her it bugs you. I typically deflect compliments also, but that comes from poor self-image. When women truly dont think they are beautiful(& lots of women truly feel that way; some say “oh no im not” for attention & it’s obvious, but a lot of women dont feel beautiful)…. and it is hard to think someone else would. So we tend to shoot it down when we hear compliments like that. My sister gave me some good advice….”when someone compliments you…JUST SAY THANK YOU!!” It has stuck so now that is what I do. I really don’t think she believes that you don’t believe she’s beautiful… Maybe write out your fav things, ways or things she does, what makes her beautiful to you. It’ll help her to realize, everyone is beautiful in their own way.

  15. I disagree with all that is written. Why? Because all that is part of martial duties and part of being a human being if brought up properly.
    You don’t have to pay for the milk when both of you have the cow at home. Sorry!
    That’s why both of you fell in love, both of you had fun, both of you did thing before the ring went on. So keep doing it..
    If it stops ask why? If your denied ask why?
    No valid reason? Get rid of her or him..
    Like my mother said, ” you first, you second, you third”..
    Life to short, and the economy is getting worse with the outside costing more than what you bring home…so don’t scratch your heads..give to each other or get out…

  16. I love my wife more then words will ever express. I’ve always done my best but it never was enough. she’sa busy women. despite are issues she’s the love of my life. I’ve always, i always used to pick her roses and when i was a away i always wrote her. point is i love my family so muh its destroying me not being with her. Anyways beautiful you are the best thing evr to happen to me, i will love u always unconditionaly forever. your the best of me the absolutely. Very best i love u beautiful.

  17. Wow, simple things but I now relive I take my wife for granted! I will make sure I remember all these steps from now on. I would be no one and nothing without my wife. It’s sad I had to search this but I knew I forgot the basics. Thanks for this post! I know it’s old but so true!

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